Many people said that pregnancy is THE most wonderful time (A lot of them were never pregnant in their life before – that’s interesting. 🙂 ).
And they were right.
Pregnancy brings a lot of ups and downs and I became nervous wreak.
Here are 7 hardest moments of my pregnancy.
1. An Inner Conflict
I was having inner conflict all the time because I knew that stress has a bad influence on baby and couldn’t do anything about it.
From the very beginning, I didn’t know how much can hormones change your mood. (It can happen very quickly.)
And stress (that provoked inner conflicts) was the most intensive at work.
Even though you know nobody was rude and everything is just fine you still think really big injustice happened to you. I remember one day I needed to stay a little bit longer at work and I started blaming everyone for that – customers for coming there, coworkers for not work hard enough, manager for not asking me nicely… And I just needed to stay half an hour longer. And the manager wasn’t rude at all.
It was extremely hard especially at work (I realize it now.) to take a control over my hurt feelings that happened for no reason and you, of course, don’t know that. I was trying really hard to not burst into cry in front of my customers and coworkers.
2. It Takes Your Energy
When fetus starts growing it takes a lot of your energy and I was sleepy all the time. Back then I had a physically hard job and If I could I would fall asleep while standing.
After 2 months sleepiness finally stopped.
And this was the time when jealousy popped up.
I was jealous of my partner all the time.
He is a photographer and what do you know – he also takes a photo of beautiful women. The jealousy had put our relationship to the test.
I realized how annoying I was with questions like “why are you going to photograph her” “do you find her attractive” “why are you so nice to her” …. but couldn’t help myself. I pushed him so far that photography almost resented him.
If he wouldn’t be so understanding and patient I don’t know where we would be today.
The next thing I was so afraid of was if I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed my baby.
I clearly remember that moment when obstetrician said that it’s totally ok if you won’t be able to breastfeed. And the alarm turned on.
Why the heck not?? Is that even possible? Why? Would that be me? What if I won’t be able to do it because of the fear. And so on and so on.
And one day I was having a phone call with my friend who had 1 months old baby at that time and she asked me if I already have milk in my breasts…
I was like: “How the hell I would know that?” – “Try to squeeze them.” I am still grateful her for that.
5. A Group B Strep Screening
In the 32nd week of the pregnancy you can go to a group B strep screening and if it’s positive, they give you antibiotics before delivery is going to happen and everything is ok.
But I didn’t go to do that test.
The reason for that is because it wasn’t in the programme as infections are very rare so I said to myself I don’t want to complicate and have believed everything will be ok.
But 2 weeks later when it was too late for making the test it hit me – what if the baby is going to die because of that, what if…?
6. Can I Be A Good Mom
For the whole time in my pregnancy escorted me the question “Can I be a good mom?”.
I asked myself that million times.
I knew I have a lot of things to change (I have been making that list in my mind from when I was 15) because I didn’t want to bear bad habits on him.
But now I know the body is a perfect system and naturally change bad characteristics like impatience and weakness and replace it with positive ones.
7. A Caesarean Section
For the final touch, my biggest shock was right before the labor.
I came into the delivery room and at the very beginning, my midwife said that I will probably need a Caesarean section because the baby wasn’t in the perfect position and it can be too dangerous for a natural labor with occiput down instead of with vertex.
I wasn’t expecting that at all but I really surprised myself how reasonable was at that time.
I said to myself “Que Sera, Sera” (“Whatever Will Be, Will Be” – A famous song by Jay Livingston and Ray Evans) and disregard that thought for the rest of the morning.
I decided to fully trust the midwife.
Right before the squeeze, it was so painful that I said: “Ok! Let’s do that cesarean! Damn it.”
And the midwife said: “If this works out, you are going to deliver naturally”.
5 minutes later my sunshine was born. 🙂
After The Pregnancy
The pregnancy is gone but there are new fears, shocks, and hard moments but it pays off like nothing else in this world.
Every hard moment brings something great and I really appreciate for all of them so I can be a better person now and my life is a little bit easier now.
Stress will always be here so just allow it to be. Read that again.
What are your hardest moments of pregnancy?
Leave the comment below and let’s talk about it.
With love, Monika.
p.s. If you enjoyed this article, check my previous one, where I talked about the timing of having a baby – When Are You Really Prepared For A Child?
p.p.s. If you enjoyed this article, I’d be very grateful if you’d help it spread by emailing it to a friend or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook. Thank you!
About the author
Monika Setinc is a mother, businesswoman and a Chief Engagement Officer with Kunapipi. She spends her free time with her little son.